I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
