I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
