The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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