who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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