Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
