real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize