Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
