i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
