so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize