I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
How's work?
Spinning.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
