oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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