also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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