she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
