you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
