He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
