So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
