gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
