I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize