There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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