but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
