Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
