Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
