i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
