also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
