my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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