do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
