Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
