I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
