East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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