Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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