apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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