My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize