You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My bed smells like the plague
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
