happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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