Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
