i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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