As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
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She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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