my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
