Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
