Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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