it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
