But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
