Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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