idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
