none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
