is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize