Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
