My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
