I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize