I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
