U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
