You're my little dorito
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
