I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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