I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
