He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
