He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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