The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
