This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
he just fucked me for my cheese.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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