Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
