So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it