i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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