just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
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