Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms

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  (407): I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms http://tfl.nu/rxh4
  Replies (5) Good night (829) Bad night (1203)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Why are we friends again?

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  (973): New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out.. (1-973): Why are we friends again? http://tfl.nu/4ygf
  Replies (38) Good night (1145) Bad night (3255)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...

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  (902): I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL... http://tfl.nu/s81g
  Replies (25) Good night (868) Bad night (9712)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.

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  (713): All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter. http://tfl.nu/461a
  Replies (32) Good night (1643) Bad night (2669)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window

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  (704): I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window http://tfl.nu/ly7e
  Replies (13) Good night (1471) Bad night (4266)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.

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  (727): His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there. http://tfl.nu/9vdb
  Replies (6) Good night (1348) Bad night (2354)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"

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  (850): Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere" http://tfl.nu/ju0a
  Replies (9) Good night (3568) Bad night (1063)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?

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  (860): I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that? http://tfl.nu/7o3y
  Replies (10) Good night (1547) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.

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  (772): I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison. http://tfl.nu/yxd5
  Replies (2) Good night (1049) Bad night (585)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership

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  (256): I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership http://tfl.nu/f2mt
  Replies (7) Good night (1100) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.

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  (214): Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done. http://tfl.nu/4t9f
  Replies (4) Good night (1090) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.

  (1-786): View more from Florida

  Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?

  (786): View more from Florida

  I insist.

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  (786): Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted. (1-786): Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat? (786): I insist. http://tfl.nu/nbuf
  Replies (2) Good night (1202) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.

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  (214): She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE. http://tfl.nu/ol6h
  Replies (2) Good night (779) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?

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  (703): Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch? http://tfl.nu/4jed
  Replies (3) Good night (301) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.

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  (832): 30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee. http://tfl.nu/6d16
  Replies (2) Good night (161) Bad night (399)

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