U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.