Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Hm. I declare blue a flavor.

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  (843): Hm. I declare blue a flavor. http://tfl.nu/1q5w
  Replies (58) Good night (6766) Bad night (733)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night

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  (215): I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night http://tfl.nu/glp8
  Replies (6) Good night (1111) Bad night (3922)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!

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  (315): THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/7uwm
  Replies (14) Good night (6757) Bad night (1269)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong

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  (630): So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong http://tfl.nu/7whz
  Replies (28) Good night (1010) Bad night (5960)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.

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  (406): Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick. http://tfl.nu/xla1
  Replies (6) Good night (2014) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar

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  (516): Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar http://tfl.nu/xg4s
  Replies (6) Good night (2907) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know

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  (810): I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know http://tfl.nu/zbvb
  Replies (3) Good night (1958) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.

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  (330): It started with jello shots. It ended with tears. http://tfl.nu/yarv
  Replies (3) Good night (1048) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in

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  (248): its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in http://tfl.nu/50v1
  Replies (3) Good night (839) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.

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  (616): We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots. http://tfl.nu/koac
  Replies (3) Good night (1802) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul

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  (701): I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul http://tfl.nu/ufft
  Replies (8) Good night (1109) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.

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  (954): I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/1wnj
  Replies (5) Good night (786) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?

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  (616): I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day? http://tfl.nu/5vcx
  Replies (3) Good night (292) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!

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  (306): he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!! http://tfl.nu/8dbb
  Replies (3) Good night (505) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!

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  (816): Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away! http://tfl.nu/774o
  Replies (2) Good night (570) Bad night (280)

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