Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
