You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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